Fruit Punch
by BananaNutCrunch
Summary: Because Mukuro equals pineapple, and Ryohei equals boxing, so Mukuro plus Ryohei is FRUIT PUNCH! Geddit? Never mind. Meant as a belated birthday fic to Mukuro, but ended up Ryohei-centric. Oh well. We still love him, right? And yes, it is a 6933. Enjoy.


Now, it's absolutely true that Sasagawa Ryohei was a bit of a nutjob (an EXTREME MAN, GODDAMMIT) and that he'd taken several blows to the head in his time, but Ryohei was nothing if not an opportunist, and he knew talent when he saw it.

That's why, during the ring battle, after making his entrance into the gym to fight off the baby illusionist (and EXTREMELY SAVE SOME PEOPLE'S ASSES, THANKYOUVERYMUCH), he'd paid special attention to the little chick in the miniskirt. Admittedly, the initial cause for the undivided attention had, in fact, been the miniskirt (more specifically, what the miniskirt revealed when the girl was being held aloft by a set of tentacles), but after the shock of seeing her transform into a male had worn off (and Ryohei was not disappointed AT ALL that this boy wasn't still wearing the miniskirt, WHO TOLD YOU THAT HE WAS?) Ryohei had decided that there was to be a new addition to the boxing club, no questions asked. And so, after all the fuss had worn off, while Lussuria was still strapped to the bed and was TOTALLY NOT EXTREME enough to be challenged to a fight, Ryohei had made his way over to the Kokuyo gang (while avoiding eye-contact with the kid who smelled like wet dog, because SO HELP HIM HE WAS IN A GOOD MOOD AND WAS WILLING TO LET BYGONES BE BYGONES AND DID NOT WANT TO GET INTO ANOTHER FIGHT, NO MATTER HOW ANNOYING THAT GUY WAS).

"LITTLE CHICK!" he'd pointed at her, probably alarming her greatly in the process (but he couldn't be held accountable for that, Ryohei was never good at TALKING AT NORMAL DECIBLES) and promptly asked her to call the "other guy who looks like you but doesn't wear a skirt." And she had obliged, probably out of reluctance to deal with him any longer and subject herself to all that ear rape, and Mukuro had appeared, smiling and waving his trident around with his usual easy grace.

"Can I help you?" he'd purred (IN A WAY THAT WAS NOT ATTRACTIVE WHATSOEVER, I SAY) and Ryohei had, being the nice guy he was, told him that he had officially been accepted as a part of Namimori's boxing club and was required to show up for their weekly meeting the following Thursday at four o'clock, if that was alright, and we'll see about getting you a pair of gloves that'll fit your teeny weeny hands. To which the mysterious Rokudo Mukuro had simply laughed and vanished, leaving a very confused Ryohei to be dealt with by his subordinates.

In the end, Mukuro hadn't shown up for their weekly meeting, which had pissed Ryohei off no end, because HOW THE HELL WAS HE SUPPOSED TO RUN A CLUB WHEN HALF THE MEMBERS NEVER EVEN SHOWED UP, DAMMIT, never mind the fact that Mukuro hadn't actually said yes. Ryohei figured he was almost as bad as that Hibari- no, Hibari wasn't _that_ bad, he did show up that one time (EXTREMELY LATE, MIND YOU) and beat everyone to a pulp before promptly running off again (giving Ryohei another chance to be proud that they had such a talented member) although Ryohei never _quite_ got the chance to sit down with him and explain that tonfa were not allowed in a boxing match, on account of all the internal haemorrhaging and whatnot. But that was beside the point.

So, the next time Ryohei saw Chrome Dokuro, he made it a point to give her a right talking to on behalf of Mukuro for not abiding by the club rules after he had EXPLICITLY TOLD HIM FOUR O'CLOCK, DAMMIT, which, of course, led to Chrome's image melting away to be replaced by the illustrious Mukuro himself, demanding to know who was upsetting his dear sweet Chrome. To which Ryohei had responded by pointing a finger about two inches away from Mukuro's nose and telling him that it was EXTREMELY UN-EXTREME to keep your boxing club captain waiting, at your very first meeting, no less! After which he had received a trident to the eye, which TOTALLY DID NOT MAKE HIM SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL, NO MATTER WHAT THE OCTOPUS-HEAD TOLD YOU.

But Ryohei was nothing if not persistent, and he didn't stop badgering Chrome every chance he got. So, it was probably inevitable that Mukuro finally showed up one day in the boys' locker room after one meeting to set things straight and get the Sasagawa boy off his poor Chrome's back. Figuratively, of course.

It had started off as a heated debate about Mukuro's lack of teamwork, oh yes, but, predictably, degenerated into an all-out battle. Even Ryohei saw that coming. What surprised him, though, was how exactly the spar managed to morph into a hasty make-out session, with Ryohei attempting in vain to swat away Mukuro's wandering hands (not that he really minded), and Mukuro laughing that tinkling laugh the entire time (which honestly did get a little creepy after some time, you know, especially since it really didn't stop). And what made things worse, goddammit, was that Mukuro had FUCKEN DISAPPEARED after that, leaving Ryohei more than a little dishevelled, until he was chased off by a very suspicious-looking Hibari who totally did not seem to care that Ryohei was in a FUCKEN PREDICAMENT, FOR PETE'S SAKE.

Honestly, the insensitivity of some people.

Well, Ryohei had tried to confront Mukuro about it, he honestly had, the next Thursday Mukuro showed up in the locker room, but he'd just ended up getting groped again (and mind you, UNWILLINGLY SO). And even though Ryohei was nothing if not persistent, even he knew when something was just not going to work, and had given up all hope of trying to reason with Mukuro after the fifth consecutive week of retreating off the showers after a meeting and suddenly finding a hand down his pants. Besides, once he'd gotten used to the initial shock, it really hadn't been all that bad (at least until Hibari showed up and Mukuro would disappear and leave him, quite literally, hanging). One could even look upon it as a new method of training, although training for what I do not know. But running away from an infuriated head prefect ("desecrating school property with your acts of FILTH, you scum, COME HERE SO I CAN BITE YOU TO DEATH") sure was doing wonders for his cardio.

And well, at least Mukuro was showing up for meetings now, even if he was EXTREMELY late.

* * *

**TEEHEE. There, I did it. I wanted to try out a new writing style, what do you think? Does this suit Ryohei? I, personally, am quite proud of this, although the ending was pretty half-assed (WATCHU WANT?) so yeah. Review! You know you want to. :D**


End file.
